7.04.2006

Awesome Weekend or Holiday of Mediocrity: You Make The Call!

Rousing Success! I Rule!
  • Went to South Side BBQ where there were dogs to play with, meat to eat, that vaguely homoerotic frat boy cookout game (cornhole) to play, and, oddly considering our Southness, the Cubs/Sox game on the radio, but tuned to the Cubs broadcast. The official explanation was that one-half of the host couple is a Cubs fan, but I suspect that it was the Sox fans who secretly reveled in Ron Santo emoting in tongues whenever bad luck (i.e., AJ Pierzynski) befell the Cubs.
  • Went to vegetarian North Side BBQ where I had delicious Romanian sausage and met some guy who was jealous that I studied with Michael Silverstein. I accept your envy graciously, but seriously dude, your energies are best directed elsewhere.
  • Two words: Rainbow cone.
  • Cooked a panang curry.
  • Watched the awesome Italian victory over Germany while eating someone else's chilaquiles from Arturo's.
  • Listened to politicos try to save the Left. (1, 2)
  • Avoided the Taste of Chicago.
Horrible Failure! A Disgrace to My Family!
  • Only went to two BBQs.
  • Had Cold Stone Creamery for the first time. Great if you want to enhance the hyperactivity disorder(s) of your obnoxious yuppie child; poor place for ice cream.
  • Did not eat a single rib.
  • Bowled poorly.
  • Remember all that stuff I was gonna get done for work? Uh...
  • Failed to do sentimentally American things such as eat a slice of apple pie, kiss a girl beneath the fireworks, or detain an enemy combatant.
  • Tried to befriend a bird. Bird bit me three times, only landed on my head once.
  • Went to see An Inconvenient Truth, but primarily for the air conditioning.

11 Comments:

At 6:47 PM, Anonymous Rev Transit said...

I know how to play the non-vaguely homoerotic game of cornhole, but what are the rules for the vaguely game you played?

 
At 7:13 PM, Blogger evandebacle said...

This cornhole has been around for a while, but has really exploded in the last couple of years and is ubiquitous in all North Side alleys where former frat boys can be found drinking Rolling Rock on weekends from April to September.

Basically it's horseshoes with beanbags. There are two wooden ramp-like things with a hole cut out at the top of the ramp. They are placed facing each other and people stand next to one ramp trying to toss their bean bag into the hole of the ramp facing them. This inspires such banter gems as "I got my sac in your cornhole" or "His tosses are too weak to get it in the hole."

Here's an illustration provided by the American Cornhole Association (http://www.playcornhole.org/how.shtml).
No word as to whether it's an event at the Gay Games.

 
At 8:30 AM, Anonymous Fujisan said...

When I was a wee lad, I had a tic-tac-toe board that you played with beanbags. I also had jarts, which we would throw straight up in the air and then try to catch them. I was a smart kid.

53 3/4 > 52. 'Nuff said.

 
At 9:57 AM, Blogger OrangeMoJoJo said...

Coldstone Creamery. Phooey!!! GIMME SCOOTERS!! It's worth the extra 3 mile walk.

How's your panang curry turn out? I keep screwing mine up by, um, actually trying to make it. I have no talent for Thai food.

 
At 10:01 AM, Anonymous shannon said...

Waaaait a sec...if we paint Evan as a loser, doens't it, by comparison, make it easier for us to look like winners???

What a LAME weekend, Evan! Ours was so much more...more...uh...MORE!

 
At 10:23 AM, Blogger evandebacle said...

Jojo, I actually did have Scooter's this weekend too. And Rainbow Cone. The Scooter's was dumb luck. At my friend's place to watch Italy/Germany and his downstairs neighbor handed us a container of Cookies & Cream custard. Go figure.

 
At 10:32 AM, Blogger evandebacle said...

To Shannon, always swayed by scientific argument, I offer the Law Of Homologous Coolness Recognition, aka "Takes one to know one."

 
At 11:52 AM, Blogger OrangeMoJoJo said...

You did better than this guy who can't even prove what he did this weekend. He spent all weekend working with no visible results:

http://today.reuters.co.uk/news/newsArticle.aspx?type=scienceNews&storyID=2006-07-05T115744Z_01_L04771502_RTRIDST_0_SCIENCE-GERMANY-PITCH-DC.XML&archived=False

 
At 11:52 AM, Anonymous Shannon said...

Ahhh, but to follow a page from the Bush Administration's handbook (only 3 pages long with big, colorful drawings), I don't need to recognize or prove the lameness of your weekend - I merely have to assert it (your weekend was so LAME) enough times (LAME!) and it will become Truth (LAAAAAAAME!).

So I maintain my inherent and widely-recognized coolness, while still managing to belittle others.

LAME!

 
At 11:52 AM, Blogger OrangeMoJoJo said...

You did better than this guy who can't even prove what he did this weekend. He spent all weekend working with no visible results:

http://today.reuters.co.uk/news/newsArticle.aspx?type=scienceNews&storyID=2006-07-05T115744Z_01_L04771502_RTRIDST_0_SCIENCE-GERMANY-PITCH-DC.XML&archived=False

 
At 2:35 PM, Blogger evandebacle said...

Shannon, the "If You're Not Coolness, You're Lameness" Doctrine would have also been acceptable Bush citation.

 

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