An Invitation to a Header

I think we've probably passed the point of convincing or friendly concessions on this issue. You are probably not going to be swayed by the global importance or passion of the event. If you don't already realize that watching Senegal beating Sweden in the Abbey Pub at 5 a.m. was a transformative event (and perhaps a pre-emptive warning against being Madonna's official outfitters), then I'm not sure I can help you. And, guys, no matter how earnest my arguments, chances are I won't sway you to believe that saying "nil" is just as manly as "nuttin,'""zilch," or "scoreyoufuckin'losers." Still, the World Cup begins today and I'm psyched.

So, I am offering an open invitation to watch some of these games with me. Doesn't matter where. Plenty of places will have the games on: the Abbey Pub, Small Bar, The Globe, etc. I know what you're thinking, "Evandebacle is a hockey fan fer chrissake. He can't be trusted in matters of sports viewing." Very true. So, I will make an appeal to your baser instincts: watch these games with me and there will be beer. And ladies, these are men with spectacularly sculpted legs and oodles of endurance.

Here are a few of the games that look interesting, though I am open to any and all suggestions:

• Saturday, June 10, 9:00 a.m. England vs. Paraguay (Riot! The unbeatable high.)
• Saturday, June 10, 2:00 p.m. Argentina vs. Ivory Coast (It's all about the African teams folks.)
• Sunday, June 11, 8:00 a.m. Serbia and Montenegro vs. Netherlands (I like the Dutch team and I'd eagerly eat some of that Irish Breakfast at the Abbey.)
• Saturday, June 17, 8:00 a.m. Portugal vs. Iran (Um galão vs. Axis of Evil All-Stars)
• Saturday, June 17, 2:00 p.m. Italy vs. United States (Wait, who? Oh, right. U. S. A.! U. S. A.!)
• Wednesday, June 21, 2:00 p.m. Netherlands vs. Argentina (Who will win this Tango de la Muerte through the tulips?)