Caliente Off The Presses

(Piracy Warning: This story is totally stolen from skc, but she should know better than to tell me such things)

News outlets are reporting that Thursday night history will me made at Milwaukee's Miller Park. The Brewers, along with Sausage Race sponsor Klement's Sausage Company, will unveil a fifth sausage, the Chorizo, to run in their legendary races. The announcement is also being done to coincide with Cerveceros Day which doesn't really exist, but will be celebrated at the Park during Saturday's game against the Reds. This should be especially well-received by the Mexican community given the connotations that sometimes accompany the term "chorizo." Although Cerveceros Day isn't actually a real holiday and has no actual significance in the Hispanic community, it should work immigration reformists and English Firsters into a xenophobic frenzy nationwide. Expect irrational encased meat boycotts (senseless under any circumstances) to ensue.

The Original Franksta's

Despite the media blitz being given to the announcement, Klement's representatives are being coy and have been stingy with the details:

"Don't bank on anything until you see it live," said Dan Lipke, Klement's senior vice president of sales and marketing. "There are a lot of ways we can go with this."

Asked if the Chorizo would be the newest Racing Sausage, Lipke said, "I'm not laying claim that's what you will find."

There may be, as Mr. Lipke says, "a lot of ways we can go with this" but sources say the actual way of the One True Chorizo will be one "adorned with a mustache and a sombrero and...sport[ing] the traditional colors of green, white and red."

Chorizo and his secret ethnic training regimen.

The Chorizo will join the likes of the Bratwurst, who apparently suffers from the racing sausages' bane - trick ankles, and the Italian, who leads this year with 17 wins, but who enjoyed fame before landing amidst the glitz of Beer City, USA: "He is one of the better known competitors. Much of this acclaim comes from his activities on the Silver Screen where he has been featured in such low budget films as Sausages Are A Butcher's Best Friend and Sausages, Sausages, and More Sausages."

Those unable to be in Milwaukee for the festivities are encouraged to partake in the Racing Sausages Video Game, which is precisely how your boss and mine want people to celebrate diversity in the workplace.